We have had 2 really rough nights with E this weekend. She’s been awake for not far off 4 hours a night, dozing for 15 minutes at a time which is not conducive to sleep for Mummy.
Consequently, your mind starts to work and tick over things that are going on. Last night, my thoughts started wandering back down the path and how much my life, and I have changed in the last 5 years.
5 years ago I was in an exceptionally unhappy relationship (I can only say that now as I can see how bad it was with hindsight). I was the first one to wade into an argument/debate and wasn’t afraid to say what I thought when I thought it. I wasn’t afraid to send cold food back in restaurants or complain when I felt hard done by.
10th April 2010, my life changed forever and in such a good way. I got rid of the bad. I had nearly a year on my own and then, when I wasn’t looking at all, I found my soul mate.
We had a wonderful first year together, married at the end of it, we welcomed our first child and I turned 30.
And I changed.
I don’t know why. I don’t know wether it was because I was a Wife now, wether it was because I was a Mum or because I grew up.
Now, I’m no longer the first one to join a discussion or argument. I’ll sit back and listen quietly, putting my view across if asked or I fancy chipping in.
I don’t send food back unless it is beyond unacceptable. I just eat it and then probably don’t return to the establishment.
I don’t see the need to get drunk. I enjoy a drink (when not pregnant) but one or sometimes two is enough. I can’t handle the hangover, I don’t particularly enjoy the feeling when I’ve had a few and I just don’t see the need.
I can’t be bothered with the petty arguments people have and get into. Get over it. We aren’t in the playground anymore. I’m not interested in the he said she said she’s picking on me. If you can’t say anything nice, just don’t say anything at all.
The most important people in my life are my family and my few close friends. Anyone else I just think if you don’t like something I do or say, then lump it.
I love my life. I love my husband and my daughter (and Brussell) and I love my family. If you don’t want to be part of that or you don’t want to share what we have then fine. It’s your loss. If you don’t like something I’ve said, either tell me in a constructive adult way or don’t bother. I cannot be bothered. Again it’s your loss.
Sorry world, this turned into a little bit of a rant and it didn’t mean too. I’m just excited about where our path is taking us over the next few months in the future and look forward to sharing it with the few people that really matter.
It has just amazed me how much I’ve changed in the last 5 years.